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As mothers of younger children, we think we have seen everything. We have dealt with skinned knees, messy houses, and sibling squabbles. Some day I may write a book on each of these. As you go through these problems, they seem so difficult, so trying. As my kids move towards their teenage years, I now realize that those problems were easy to deal with compared to what lies ahead. When your child is young, almost any problem can be whisked away with a hug and a kiss. The issues facing teens are much more difficult The problems that face today's teens; drug abuse, alcohol abuse, teen sexuality, smoking, and pregnancy can't be solves so easily. These issues take a well thought out plan to solve. Prior to their teenage years, we spend a lot of time teaching our kids right from wrong. As your kids, figuring out what is right and what is wrong isn't so easy. It takes a lot of preparation and a lot of coaching from you. Teen peer pressures can distorte the viewpoint of even the best kid. Here are several strategies you can use to address teen peer pressure. 1. Who am I really?: One of the biggest things a teen is trying to figure out is who they really are. A lot of the information they use to figure this out comes from other teens. This may not be the best source of information for your teen to use. Spend time talking to your teen. Get the to visualize and verbalize who they want to be and what they believe in. You need to help them really understand what their belief system is and why it is important to them. Then, whenever they have to make a decision, have them ask themselves if their decision fits the picture of who they want to be. 2. Know what you are getting into: Any time your teen leaves the house, make sure that the both of you know what you are getting into. Ask as many questions as you need to until you are both comfortable that your teen will be safe. This is not the time to be shy. 3. Can I ask you something?: Practice having your kids ask questions of their friends. What will we be doing? Will your parents be there? Who else will be there? They might be embarrassed the first time, but it could help them avoid a situation they would be uncomfortable in. 4. HELP!!!!: If your teen ever finds himself in a situation he is uncomfortable in, make sure he knows how to get help. Make sure he has a list of several cell phone numbers of friends and family who will drop everything and come get them right then and there. They also need to know that they will never be in trouble with you when they ask to be rescued. 5. Can you say "No!": Telling their friends "no" can be very difficult for your teen. Practice role playing where you are your teen's friend who is trying to get them to do something they shouldn't. Try everything a teen would like "Come on, everyone is doing it", "Don't be a baby", "Are you scared?". Teach your child how to respond to each of these situations 6. Make me the bad guy: Your teen is most likely afraid of looking like a "goody two shoes", even though they may want to do the right thing. Tell your teen it's ok to blame you. Have them try "No way, my dad would kill me if I did that. It's not worth it". It's likely that their friends will be able accept that excuse. 7. What is a "real friend": Ask your teen why a good friend would ask them to do something that they were uncomfortable with. Your teen should examine the motives of that "friend". Maybe they really aren't a friend. 8. How do you define cool?: Who does your teen think is cool? Ask them to make a list (FYI - If you make the list, this is going to be a lot easier). Ask them to tell you why they thing these people are cool. Point out to your teen that people who are cool are not cool because they follow the crowd, but because they do their "own thing". You are not cool when you follow the crowd, but you are when you blaze your own path. 9. Confidence Building 101: Being a parent is hard work. Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in what isn't right, what isn't getting done that we loose focus on what is right. Our teens need to hear how much we respect them, how much we love them, and how proud we are of them. If they don't get positive reinforcement from us, they will turn to their friends even more. Try bragging about your teen to another parent when your teen can "accidentally overhear you. They will beam! 10. Make plenty of family time: At the end of the day, the best defense against peer pressure that you can give your teen is a strong family bond. When it is all said and done, your teen will lean on you for support if they know they can count on you. Raising a teen is tough. They are facing some really difficult issues as are you. You will both make mistakes. Make the mistakes out of love, not pride or stubbornness and always be willing to forgive each other.
Article Source: http://www.4gvn.com
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